Stop The Theme Party Madness!

Ahhh. It’s summertime and the living is easy: Balmy nights out on the balcony sipping ice cold lemonade, ice cream trucks rounding the corner to the sound of their own tunes – and the dreaded all-white party invitation in my damn mailbox.


Like clockwork, every summer, everybody and their mama (it seems) throws an all-white affair. Especially Black folks. We really love us some white parties don’t we? But why?! I’ve never understood this phenomenon. I blame Puff Daddy, Puffy, Puff, P.Diddy, Diddy, Swag, Sean Combs for this deadening trend. He’s been throwing his famous all-white party in The Hamptons for several years now. And somehow, has convinced ordinary people with less than an eight of his party budget that wearing the most popular of the achromatic colors is an easy way to make a mundane party a fabulous affair.

If it’s one thing that really grinds my gears, it’s when I get an invitation to a party that tells me what I have to wear.

Don’t do that. Don’t tell me what to put on.

Unless you’re hosting a masquerade ball, a Mardi Gras themed event, a costume party of some sort (e.g. Halloween) or you’re asking that I rock a certain color on a particular day or at an event to raise money/awareness for a cause (think: pink or red for breast cancer or HIV awareness) please don’t tell me what color to put on or what article of clothing to wear.

No, I’m not a party pooper by any means. Del likes to party! But folks are really reaching for the stars with these outlandish theme party ideas.

I have a good friend who lives in DC who’s quite the partygoer. He’s always out and about, spreading his social butterfly wings at some swanky event or another. But he’s also attended a few questionable parties:

A black party. Kinda funeral-y. But not too drastic, I suppose.
A white party. Of course. *Rolls Eyes*
A black and white party. This, I might can get into. Maybe.
A rooftop seersucker party. I’m sorry. Come again?
A wife-beater and tie party. This is just plain dumb.
A tank top party (not to be confused with a wife-beater, which is typically tight and form fitting while a tank top can be loose), where people were required to write one word that best describes themselves ON the tank top. Sir! Ma’am! Chile!

Um. Am I the only one who thinks this is all a bit too much? I mean, have a game night. A wine party. A karaoke showdown. A 70’s backyard jammie jam. An 80’s hip-hop gathering. All of those I get. Those themes make sense to me. But if you ever receive an invitation from me for a flip flop and fitted hat party, please know that I’ve fallen off the deep end. Oh, and do yourself a favor and don’t show up!

Seriously. In the words of Jill Scott: Everything ain’t for everybody. I think folks who come up with these outlandish themes need to keep in mind the people they intend to invite. How do you know I’ll be comfortable rocking a wife-beater at your party? I know tons of people, with good bodies might I add, who are uncomfortable wearing tank tops and the like outside of the house.

I know someone who tweeted about her annual ugly Christmas sweater party. I love this theme! Wanna know why? Because it’s a self-deprecating event. The host is totally in on the joke. The people in attendance are in on the joke. Everyone’s just there for shits and giggles.

And I know what you all are thinking:

Well Del, no one’s twisting your arm. You have the option to decline the invitation.

This is true. And folks also have the option not to throw silly ass parties!

Come on, guys. Don’t leave me hanging on this one. Have you ever gotten an invitation to a wacky theme party? Did you attend? Hit the club instead? Pretend the Evite got lost in the cyber mail? Or better yet, did you actually go and have a good time?!

And what are your opinions on white parties? Love ’em? Hate ’em? Indifferent? I will say that the uber-popular Miami White Party has raised a boatload of money for HIV/AIDS research and is the largest fundraiser of its kind in the world.

An all-white party with a purpose! I dig that. But that all-white soiree down at Ray Ray’s Lounge over on 106th and Antebellum that’s just an all-white event for the sake of being an all-white event? No!

But in all honesty, do you think I’m a stick in the mud for thinking a party full of grown folks rocking tank tops with stenciled and puff painted self-describing adjectives on them is a little lot lame? O____O

Talk to me. I’d love to hear your thoughts.

DISCLAIMER: You know, I did blog about my “need” to purchase some white denim this summer, which I have yet to do. Maybe I’d fit in at an all-white party after all!



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  1. NorthernStar

    Too funny! I've done white party or two. Actually doing another one next month in the Hamptons again. I think it's somewhat of a mockery of Sean-Puffy-Diddy-Puff Daddy-Swag-Combs's (aka Bama) soiree. But honestly, if it wasn't thrown by someone I knew, I wouldn't do it.

    Wife beater & Tie? Tank Top? GTF outta here…people kill me trying to be "creative&quot

  2. Anonymous

    To be fair, the one-word wife beater affair was rather unique and did allow for a good conversation starter. Also, as you mentioned, you definitely have to know your crowd. I think people who throw parties with true themes, not just color-themes, know the people that they surround themselves with would be game.
    I think everyone knows who to invite, and NOT to invite, in different


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