My Upstairs Neighbor’s Bed Part 2: VIDEO PROOF

I don’t offend easily. With close to ten years of rejection under my belt auditioning and working as an actor, I’ve grown quite the thick skin.

But I’m still an artist and very sensitive about my shit!

About a month ago, a friend and loyal reader of this blog made a comment about the post: My Upstairs Neighbor’s Bed. He went on about how good he thought the post was and how much he enjoyed reading it. And then – like a rusty dagger to my heart – he asked: You made that up, right?

Listen. Del don’t make up blog posts. EVER!

No disrespect to the bloggers out there on that James Frey flow; the ones who concoct misadventures and stretch the truths of their lives to entertain their readers. If that’s your thing, fine! But it ain’t mine.

Everything you read over here on my little slice of the interwebs is 100% true. Period. Besides, I’m a writer. If I wanted to hit you with a piece of fiction, not only would I do it, but I’d say point blank: Check out this fictional joint I wrote. You know, like when I shared my award winning short story with you guys last spring.

*Pops Collar*

And in this age of Oprah life classes and new wave introspection, I’m smart enough to know that [NAME REDACTED] questioning the credibility of the blog post was a) a compliment to my writing and storytelling ability and b) a way of letting me know folks actually really do read and pay attention.

So, [NAME REDACTED], I appreciate you for that.

But, still, it’s imperative that I set the record straight and prove that my upstairs neighbor is, in fact, a jerk who considers sex on a rundown bedspring when stomping over my head isn’t enough. So I did what any self-respecting, dignified blogger would do: Record him.

Allow me to set up the clip.

I’m laid out on my bed, steno pad, pen and flashcards strewn about as I study for the Praxis exam in January. And out of no where, I hear my upstairs neighbor’s raggedy ass bed start to squeak and the “woman?” he’s plowing begin to moan.

Pump up the volume and listen closely. Things get really saucy at about the 32 second mark. That’s when he really finds his stride and starts to bring it on home!

Me? Make this stuff up? I think not!

 

  • Shani P

    I spit out my coffee while reading this. He was getting it in! He needs to invest in a new bed.

  • Anonymous

    On some level this sad…you live in a nice space in a nice apartment building and you have a old a$$ bed. Seriously, did he get it off the street and bring it into his home.

  • Urbane Urbanite

    @Shani P
    I'm saying!

  • Urbane Urbanite

    @Anonymous
    You know, it is sad. He also drives a really nice car. Folks need to get their priorities in order.

  • I literally laughed out loud when reading this. I was laughing so hard I had to close my office door. Then I listen to the audio and completely fall out. Great laugh for a Monday. Hey we all need love right! LOL

  • NorthernStar

    LMAO

    That was quick. Unless there was a lot more before you started recording.

    Too funny!

  • Urbane Urbanite

    @DrMPH
    We all need love, but on much quieter beds. LOL

  • Urbane Urbanite

    @NorthernStar
    Thankfully, there was NOT a lot more before I started. That's why I try not to complain. Dude usually starts and finishes in less than 5 minutes. See how nice I am?

  • Unreal. I've found myself in this position before and the following day I would pray that I saw them. And look at the female like "you sound sexy when moaning" but look at the dude like "man, you ain't hitting that right." Nonverbal communication is the best lmao

  • "Ma"

    OTFLMAO!!

  • teejay_nj

    A mess!

  • lmao!! Lawd!! i can't!!

  • damn he going in

  • Anonymous

    OK, I gotta know! Did the 60 minute…oops "second"…man get a new bed yet?? I found this site because I was looking for a solution to my problem squeaker. Curious to know if you solved your problem and how.